Tokyo Hotel:
It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such
thing please not to read notice..

Japanese Hotel:
Please to bathe inside the tub.

Bucharest Hotel:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you
will be unbearable.

Leipzig Hotel Lift:
To move the cabin push for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more
persons, each one should press button for wishing floor. Driving is then going
alphabetically by national order.

Marbella Restaurant Menu: 
Fried Minds on Toast.

Paris Hotel Lift:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

Athens Hotel:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11
a.m. daily.

Japanese Hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Marbella Restaurant:
Cheques will not be accepted in lieu of food.

Moscow Hotel near Orthodox Monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Rome Doctor's Office:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

Austrian Ski Resort:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of
ascension.

Swiss Restaurant Menu:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Polish Hotel Menu:
Salad a firm's own make, limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form
of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef.

Hong Kong Supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient service.

Bangkok Dry Cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Rhodes Tailor Shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we well execute customers in
strict rotation.

Soviet Weekly in English:
There is a Moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic printers and
sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

Germany's Black Forest: 
It is strictly forbidden on our camping site that people of different sex, for
instance men and women, live together in the tent unless they are married to
each other for that purpose.

Tokyo Car Rental: 
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously
at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour.