Date: Thu, 13 Oct 1994 11:45:08 +0900 (JST)
From: claude@trc.mew.co.jp (Claude Huss)

(The original was in German)
 
Now on 2 CDs:  "The Bible 2.0 beta"
 
Since the true followers have been waiting two thousand years, there
is now finally a new version of the Bible.  Naturally, the changes are
so extensive, that we think the jump over one version number is fully
justified.
 
The new features, one by one:
 
The number of Commandments has been increased from 10 to 15, with an
additional 5 user-defined Commandments.
 
A third part:  "The Brand New Testament".
And also, "The Really Cool Testament for Kids!"
With autographs\addresses/ from God, Jesus, and Maria.
 
Now, instead of just one, up to ten deities are possible!
Even female Gods!
A "God Construction Kit" is provided!
 
Introductory Many pictures for beginners.
"Herody, the happy host" will guide you through the hypertext.
 
By popular demand, Moses is now completely gone.
 
Sex before marriage: now allowed!
 
Homosexuality:  now allowed!
 
Anal sex:  no longer a mortal sin, now a minor offense (5 dollars fine)!
 
Sensuality and gluttony fully implemented!
 
In the shareware version, a drooling Pope reminds you to pay.
In the full version, no more Pope!
In the deluxe version, you become the Pope!
 
Binary heaven/hell switch now expanded to
 - Disneyland
 - Mallorca
 - Billstedt
 - Battlestar Gallactica
 - FidoNet
Selection by fuzzy logic or random!
 
The Flood can be extended to:
 - earthquake
 - alien attack from Andromeda VI
 - atomic bomb
 - CIA
 - OJ Simpson
 - spinach
 
God's reproduction through a virgin has been expanded using the latest
in genetic engineering!
Now there are also God's sister, daughter, androids, robots!
 
Instead of the inevitable crucifixion, you can now choose
 - final shot of salvation
 - AIDS
 - auto accident
 - suicide
 - food coloring deemed fully safe according to the federal health
   bureau
 - DOS
 - amnesty
 
The full version is now ready for religious fanatics!  Reason and logical
thinking can be fully disabled!
 
For "HIM" now instead of a simple boldface, full ANSI-support:
 Color, inverse, blinking.
 Experts are automatically recognized.
 
WYSIIB : "What You See: Ignore It. Believe!"
 
Even runs on Windows!
 
The well-known and loved intolerance and oppression of the Bible 1.0 has
obviously been taken care of.  As such, all exclusions are now supported
completely intuitively.
 
For just 666 dollars from any specialty store or direct from the
Vatican.(Please enclose check.)
 
System requirements:
-simple psychology, charisma, a lot of money and a heap of strong
 believers.